And continues..continues...continues..

I'm trying to do something different with my paintings while still keeping the same style that appeals to me visually.  I want to use a phrase I recently said to a friend, "I'm tired of trying to live my life crawling through this picture someone has painted of me based on what he is going through," to be the basis for the group of paintings.  I want the art to show the struggle of being downed by criticism and what others say, to change into starting to believe in myself and finally  just simply being who I am.  The first painting is this one, if you look close you can see that it's "raining criticism", pretty literal interpretation and not at all subtle with the withering flower.  But, it does appeal to me.  (What can I say, I am a simple person.)

This is actually the 3rd painting, but it is larger than the other two and I want it to dominate the grouping.  It's self explanatory and I may not put any text on it.  Not sure yet.  I just want it to be bright and simple and happy, which is something I've tried to put into many of my paintings.  Obviously not finished.

And this is the 2nd.  I'm hoping people will read the group as they do a monogram, left, right, center.  This one is the coneflower starting to bloom "learning to breathe".  Trying to see myself outside of this image that men or people paint of me based on their lives.  I like who I am better if people look at me clearly, rather than muddied by what they want to see or what they have lived.  I think the trick is seeing myself clearly and not worrying about others.  Easier when not in bad relationships.  Ahh...the actual joyful part of being single!  I need to look at this painting again tomorrow in natural light.  The lighting in this house is horrid.  It looks muted, which is what I want, kind of a muted, but bring spring look, but then I take it into different light to photograph it and aaahhhh too yellow!

...and Continues.

Making time to paint lately, it helps me stay sane...at least at the level of sanily/insanity I'm at already.   G and I drove up Hwy 62 this afternoon and stopped at about 5-6 pet stores/groomers.  Really good response to my pet jewelry and tags.  One new client and the rest are all interested, just need to follow up with the management.  Course, the first step is getting them in the stores, the 2nd is getting clients to purchase them.

And the Process Continues...

Add caption

It's one am, I should probably go to sleep.  Trying to go through the notes on my thoughts throughout the day and piece together an idea for these paintings.  I want to incorporate images that appeal to me and try to explain why.  I can't figure out how to do it without incorporating words, but then I realized a while ago, that my poetry is much more personal than my paintings.  I think there are reasons I paint what I do and why it appeals to me, but I don't think it shows in my work.  Is it too simple to include words?  Am I overdoing it starting with the order that I crave, including thoughts in text and adding the visual feeling.  I don't know.  It's something new.  I'll give it a shot and see how it turns out.

Dropped off displays and pet tags/jewelry at Rogue River and Grants Pass retail stores today.  I also took time to photograph the Jacksonville Courthouse in the morning light and then again in late afternoon.  I'm trying to get shots for the promotional material for Jville Celebrates the Arts.

Zzzzz....

Staying Sane During the Creative Process

So today the goal is to record my thoughts throughout the day and see where it takes me.  I want my paintings to become more personal.  But that is seriously scary!  I was chatting with a friend about how difficult it is to date men who are healthy enough to see me.  Here's my comment:

"I'm tired of living my life trying to crawl through this picture someone has painted of me based on what he is going through."

I want to somehow take that statement as well as other thoughts and incorporate it into my work.  That has been my lifelong struggle, how to be in a relationship without becoming crazed and lost.  And by writing down my thoughts....my day is getting away from me.  The ugly truth:

I actually dread going to this place creatively where my emotions are unprotected.  My work is so much better, but allowing the time and energy to go there is difficult.  I know that I can crank up music, start talking or thinking and be there, emotionally wrapped in my thoughts, analyzing and trying to solve, clarity at times.  It’s hard to go about normal life after moments like that.  I either want too much from people, ie to be there, keep talking, listening, sharing.  Or I just want to be alone and introverted.  It’s weird because my emotional side makes people nervous, you can see them drawing away from it at times, but they are also drawn to it.  People tell me I inspire them and I can almost feel them sapping my energy at times, wanting to talk and me to listen, wanting to be inspired and supported.  No easy answer.  I spent most of my life hiding from it, working in a stressful, serious job so I could be this controlled human.  But, going there emotionally, letting down the guard, makes me stronger and healthier, and also a lot more vulnerable.  Living my creative life is not easy or simple.  It takes more bravery than I had imagined.  Daily criticism followed by amazing highs.  Trying to stay focused on the business side, but needing to get away and allow myself the freedom and strength to create.  Trying to get the comments out of my head and just listen to myself.  That, I think, will be the most difficult part, continuing to listen to myself and believe that what I have to say is valid and relatable.

And...you can see how just making the decision to record my thoughts throughout the day...has sent my brain spinning.  This...is what is easier to avoid than to grab on to.  And life beckons..

Day after Day...

Today I went to Ashland to check in with some of my retailers.  Stopped at Thomas Lee Gallery and snapped a pic of my necklaces.  Love that gallery, fabulous art.  Then went to Love Revolution and traded out the Valentine's necklaces for custom ones that have hearts on the front and their logo on the back.  They will make great gifts, I hope their clients respond well.  That is a really cool store too.  Yes, a sex type of store, but it so focused on sensuality and romance...with all the fun stuff in the back room.  ;)  Also stopped at Crown Jewel to drop off some more pet jewelry, they had done a really good job of placing my display.  I appreciate it when retailers do that, it makes such a difference in sales.  And last, stopped at Ashland Pets to change out their display for one with a personalized pet tag.  All in all a good, productive morning, followed by hummus and chips from the co-op.  Yum.

And then I spent the afternoon at Art du Jour.  Immy is starting to think it's her second home.  We walk in and she runs around and wags hello to everyone, helps herself to Prince's food and water and then lays down and sleeps.  Nice.  Talked with Margo about the Third Friday map, upcoming Jacksonville Celebrates the Arts and got some helpful critique on my paintings.  I told her I NEEDED a critique group.  I guess it's something she's thought of putting together before, so I am really hoping it gets off the ground.  I hate rejection but really do respond to helpful, constructive criticism.  With this creative block...i really need it!!

And spent the night working on ideas for the new paintings.  I keep looking at the circles and lines I started with.  Visually I am so drawn to charts and graphs.  That is where my retail design started, the one from the Int'l competition.  I feel like I want to do something along those lines, but in a more personal way.  I'm thinking about writing down my thoughts throughout the day and looking for patterns.  Part of my draw to the order of graphs is that my mind goes in so many directions, scattered, creative, crazy (?).  I like order contrasted with reality.  Not sure where this will go, but at least I'm moving forward in my art.  I want to do something that continues with the style I am drawn to, but becomes more personal, has meaning in my life.  I also keep thinking about Alzheimers, doing something that relates to G's blog and working through the disease artistically.  It might help.

Found out a close friend has breast cancer.  I know that has nothing to do with my art, but it does.  Stuff like that makes you fear the fragility of life.  I know she will come through it, she's a strong woman.  I will be pray daily and appreciate every moment of life where I have the joy of painting and creating.

Creative Block. Fabulous..

Still bored....and still not sure what I'm doing with this painting.  I haven't had a creative block in a long time.  Ugh.  I bought a book a few months ago called "Thinking Creatively, New Ways to Unlock Your Visual Imagination".  Am going to dive into it tonight, hopefully it will help.  I don't even know why I feel bored because I do have so much to do.  I need to update the Third Friday Medford map for March, adding another street block in perspective and hopefully find a local restaurant that will do some type of green sample food in Vogel for the art walk.  I also met with my friend Jeannena yesterday.  She's my source for all things Jacksonville.  She asked me if I would do the promotional material for Jacksonville Celebrates the Arts.  I'm excited about the project although I've never done anything like that before.  Of course my first question was...."can I use my art in the flyers"?  One track mind...getting my name out there so my business will grow.  Sometimes I feel pushy or driven but others I give myself a break and acknowledge that I'm in survival mode.  I can either figure out how to build my creative self into a business that will support my future, or I can go back to work in an office.  I think I would wither away and die if I sat in an escrow office again.

Who Has Time?

Tonight I realized I was bored.  This is not a feeling I've had very often in my life.  I think it's because my art is a little unbalanced right now.  I've been working on the business side of my art and haven't taken the time to create.  So I jumped in....not sure yet where this is going but at least it's headed somewhere!

Tiara by Cindy Kahoun

I'm planning to go to the Grants Pass Art Walk for the first time on March 2nd from 6-9.  Artist friend Cindy Kahoun, who is the director at Gallery One is a featured artist.  I love her work.  Hope some of you from Medford and Jville will have a chance to head down.

Cindy's exhibit is called "Tiara".  She sent a tiara home from Gramma.  G was thrilled!

This Friday's Art Walk in Medford

This is the flyer for this Third Friday's Art Walk in downtown Medford.  We're trying to build interest by highlighting special events each month.

This is February's map.  I'm making a list of changes that I want to make by next month, but for a first run I'm happy with it.  If you are a downtown merchant and have something to add, please contact me.  The goal for this gallery map is to include any retailers who stay open for the Art Walk and specifically highlight anything that reflects the art in our area.

Finished Display

The finished product.  I like it!  I think chopping off the heads puts the focus on the necklaces.  Now I just need to spend some time in the woodshop building them!

Off With Their Heads!

In the end, I HATED the styrofoam wig heads as displays.  So now I'm trying to cut out a silhouette and see how that works. 

I have two painted.  One is black, one is silver.  I think I like the black one better, although it doesn't show up well in this photo.  I'm still debating on the head, it overtakes the display.  I may chop it off and just leave a partial neck.

So I chopped off their necks in photoshop.  Hmm.....still not sure what I think, but my initial thought is that I like it better.  "Off with their heads!"

Third Friday Art Walk Map

Today was an interesting day.  I've been working on a map for the downtown Medford galleries for the Third Friday Art Walk.  I was at Art du Jour today for my co-op one-day-per-month workday and was able to get outside for a bit, so I took the opportunity to visit the local businesses shown on my map.  The goal was to find out which businesses stay open for the Art Walk, which is 5-8 pm on the third friday of each month.  I met some great people, but also walked into a few hornet's nests.  The good thing is....I hate politics, even small town politics, so was able to plead "new girl in town" innocence....which in fact I am.  I have managed thus far to avoid getting involved.  Anyway, I hope the map helps get people to the downtown area.  I think i will pass them out around the area, try to build some interest.

Styrofoam Heads

Texturizing styrofoam wig heads.  Never a dull moment.  ;)
Today was a good day.  I stopped by a few of my retailers and dropped off the dog displays.  I love the response.  I hope the customers have a good response as well.  I have some new ideas spinning around in my head.  I wish I had enough time for everything I want to do.

I just got my styrofoam wig heads in the mail.  I'm so excited!  This is the start of displays for my necklace/card sets.  

Happiness

I felt so happy today!!  When I started my art business almost 3 years ago, I would go out on the apartment deck, set up my table saw on the floor (it barely fit) and piss off the neighbors by hammering and sawing to build my canvases.  Not only did I annoy everyone around me but it was pretty unsafe.  Today I just finished building a table for my miter saw, a table for Mom's scroll saw and a work table.  The work table is even big enough to build a canvas on top of, no more nailing on the floor!

Not only does this hugely impact my art business, but on a personal level I feel like I'm home.  In the past years, whenever life felt lonely (often) or cold, I would think about working in my dad's woodshop at the Winchuck with the sun shining.  I've often missed how simple life was back then.  Today, standing in G's garage, realizing that my parents and Gramma have given me back my security and peace.  I have a woodshop and studio.  I have sunshine most days.  I have people who love me closeby.  I think the only thing missing is my girls.  I miss them terribly.

I spend so much time in Home Depot with all of my projects they are starting to recognize me (poor them).  ;)  These are Dianne and Brandon.  I forced them to pose for me.  It is people like this who help me build my business, whether they realize the extent of their help or not.

And even while taking pics of the workbenches....what I notice are the vertical lines of the tables and the shadows from the sun.  Cool graphics.

Delivering the Immys

Immy came with me to deliver the first round of Immys.  We had a great response, which makes me so happy.  It's hard to design something and then wait to see the response.  We went to Medford and Ashland today.  Dropped off Immys at two retailers and got orders for 2 more.  Yay!  That means two new retailers!  I'm up to 16 now and my goal for 2012 is to have 25.  Hopefully I will exceed that goal.

Immy needs a fluff cut.  She cracks me up though, so funny.  She was posing, like she knew she was supposed to, but the sun was in her eyes, so most of the shots looked like this.  It cracks me up that she just kept posing but closed her eyes.

Working on the Immys

I have six of them done.  Finally!!  I just need the pet tags, which might be here tomorrow.  Then I will package them, hang a few on the collar and take them to my retailers.  Happy, happy!

Trying to think of everything needed, I made a little box for the back of the display to hold the order forms for personalized tags.  I also put a little bit of information about "Where's Immy?"

The Good and The Bad

First for todays "positives".  My paintings at Art du Jour.  Was so happy to have some of my larger pieces up.

I almost tripped walking into the gallery when I saw my painting in the window.  I wasn't expecting that.  Nice surprise.

And I changed a few paintings at Organic for my final month of the exhibit.  Now for the "negatives".  Ugh, why do I let this stuff get to me so much?  My goal for 2012 was to submit for 5 different gallery exhibits.  I got two rejections in one day.  And one was from BAM, which is the art museum I really wanted to be part of.  The skin gets thicker and thicker...

Surrounded by Immys

Production has started.  I'm surrounded by Immys!

Immy and Immys.

I think this will be her logo.  I'm making a webpage for her, but it's going to be on mine, rather than a separate website.  There's only so much I can handle.  I wanted it to have a similar look to mine, so I used a petal from the flower of my logo and distorted it for the background.  I may play a bit with the size of the pawprint and maybe the outline.  I tried so many fonts!  I think I like this one though.

Immy after Immy

Still working on the prototype but I think I'm getting closer.  I like the size of this one.  I like using an actual photo of Immy rather than just the silhouette.  I think I'm going to paint the bowl silver.  Once I get this figured out, then I will need to start making them, Immy after Immy after Immy.  I wonder if I will get all Immy'd out?

I also made a big change to my marketing plans.  I'm going to market the pet tags and any future pet products under the Where's Immy? name.  What can I say, people are more drawn to Immy than my art.  ;)  So, I will combine the two.  Maybe cammydavis.com for Where's Immy?  Hmm...awkward.  I'll figure it out.  No wonder I feel like my brain is spinning all the time and I can't remember anything.  It really is.

Wig Head as Necklace Display

I also need to come up with a display for my necklaces.  I want to do something similar to the concrete wig head I have in my room.  The one I use to photograph my necklaces.  I am considering getting wig heads, texturizing them and painting them, probably silver knowing me.  But then, I need something to hold the necklace and card sets.  This is my first attempt.

I don't want to make it so big that it will deter retailers from putting it on their countertops.  Originally I wanted to put two rows of the card sets, but I think that would just be too wide.  So, I went with one.  But I only made it 4" deep.  I'm going to try it at 6 inches and see how that looks.

The actual wig head will be smaller at the base than my concrete one (the concrete kept dripping down the wig head so it became wider at the bottom.)

And most of the day I've spent trying to make friends with the scroll saw and  making another attempt at the pet tag display.  I'll get there someday!  I enjoy the creative process, the part that scares me is having to make the same thing over and over after I finally get the design finished.  Ugh, I hate doing something more than once.